


Second Chances

by AmeliaSPN1973



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Heartbreak, Love, Not Beta Read, Redemption, Sex, Smut, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 09:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaSPN1973/pseuds/AmeliaSPN1973
Summary: If you love something, let it go and if it comes back to you, it is meant to be.Relationship drabble





	Second Chances

AYou already had all his favorite food ready: burgers, fries, beer, and pie. Sam’s last tweet had you pacing the bunker with your stomach in knots. All it said was _He is in rough shape,_ and that was enough to cause you panic. You knew that meant Dean was hating himself.

Living with the Winchesters had been the eldest Winchester’s decision. Dean wanted you near him. When he asked you to move in with him, it was his way of saying he loved you, although he used the ruse of wanting to keep you protected, and you let him because you love him.

Your message alert went off on your phone and you looked the message from Sam. _We’re getting close. Dean stopped to get some beer. We’ll be home shortly._

You went and got the food out of the oven, bringing it over to the table. You sat at the table wringing your hands. When the bunker door opened, you made an audible breath, like you had been holding your breath for so long, realized and gasped for air. You heard the familiar sounds of his boots, yet they sounded different, heavy. He’s wearing the world on his shoulders.

His foot hit the last step and the silence of the bunker was so loud. He rounded the corner, looked at you, and all you could see was heartbreak in his eyes.

“Hey Dean.” You smiled and kept your distance.

You wanted to run up and throw yourself into his arms, but you could tell this was not a good time.

“Hey,” Dean said exhausted.

The bunker door opened again and Sam walked down the stairs.

“Hey Y/N.” He came up and hugged you.

“Hey Sam. I just set down dinner. Why don’t you join us?”

Sam smiled. “Sure.”

You talk to Sam mostly. Dean seemed miles away. You were sitting next to him, so you slipped your hand under the table and squeezed and rubbed Dean’s knee gently.

He didn’t seem to respond. “Dean. Are you OK?”

“I’m fine,” he said almost angrily.  

Right after dinner Dean got up. “I’m gonna get out of here for awhile. I’ll be back soon.” He hastily kissed your cheek, grabbed his jacket and headed out. “Don’t wait up for me Y/N.”

You just looked down at the table, trying not to breakdown.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” Sam was empathetic. “It was a bad hunt.”

“What happened?”

Sam looked at you seriously. “It’s not really my place to say. Give Dean a few days. He does love you Y/N but he’s dealing with some shit.”

“OK.” You smile, hoping he is right. “He knows he can talk to me, about anything.”

“Yeah. He does.” Sam smiled.

“OK.”

That night you woke up at 3 am and roll over to see Dean had not come to bed yet. Usually before and after hunt sex was downright magical. The before hunts were usually  tender like you may never see anyone again, while the after hunts were greedy and needy. He was still on edge from his hunts and would use you to work it out, and you didn’t mind one bit. However, this last before hunt sex was needy, so maybe this time would be tender.

You got up, throwing on a robe and began shuffling through the bunker. _Damn insomnia._

You find Dean passed out on one of the couches in the library. Grabbing a throw, you cover him, then lean down giving him a kiss on his cheek. “I love you Dean.”

You walk back crawling into bed.

For the next couple of weeks, you were walking on eggshells as Dean moped around the bunker.  He barely spoke to you. He answered questions when you asked, but did not offer any new or additional info. You hadn’t been intimate with him since before the hunt, and he didn’t seem to care. He would go to the bars almost every night. Even when he slept next to you, he was over far on his side of the bed where the distance felt like miles.

Sam assured you Dean was just going through a funk, but you started to think he was losing interest in you and in your relationship.

It’s time for you two to talk.

—————————————————————

You walk out to the garage where he was working on Baby, his 1967 Chevy Impala. He’s sitting down a moment on his cooler drinking a beer.

He still looks pensive.

“Hey Dean.” You smile trying not to make his defenses go up.

“Hey Y/N.” He used to call you “Baby, Sweetheart, or Sugar”, but lately his greetings are just cold.

“Making any progress?” You smile.

“Not really.” He almost seemed perturbed that you were bothering him.

You look at him pissed off. This has gone long enough. “What’s going on with you Dean?”

“What do you mean?” He asked in a hasty curiosity.

“I mean, what’s up with your attitude towards me lately. You’re downright cold to me. You barely talk to me. You don’t touch me at all anymore. We haven’t even had sex in two weeks. What’s going on?”

“You want to have sex?” He gets up and looks at you angrily. “We can have sex right now. Right here if you want. I’ll bend you right over Baby here.”

While you would love to share some tenderness with your lover, it would not be tender. It would be hate fucking at its finest. “That’s not what I’m talking about Dean and not with your attitude lately, Mister.”

“Why? I’m a fucking joy!”

“If you mean fucking Killjoy, then yes you are!”

He moves towards you. “What do you want Y/N?”

Your breath hitches and your defenses cave.

“I want to know why you are so short with me lately? I want to know what I did to make you go from Hot to cold in a hunt. I want to know when I’m going to get the Dean I fell in love with back or are you just done with me?”

“No. I never said that.”

“You don’t have to Dean. Actions speak louder than words.”

“I got everyone in that hunt killed, an entire family. I couldn’t keep them safe. How the Fuck am I supposed to keep you and Sam safe too?”

You knew exactly what that meant, but he has gone on long enough with his self hatred. “Oh. My. God. Dean! Not that shit again. You can’t keep them safe, which means you can’t keep me safe. That’s bullshit. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to come to this bunker.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes. I did. I knew that by being with you, I could die. But I would rather live a short life with someone who loves me than a long life alone. However, lately this feels more like being alone.”

“I’m no good for you Y/N.”

“You keep saying that but I know exactly who you are and you are a good man Dean.” I move towards him and put my hand out to touch his cheek.

He pulls away. “I’m a fucking monster and you’re stupid to think I’m not.”

You look at him and the sharpness of his words stab you the heart. You knew it was over and knew what you had to do. “You know what Dean? I’m done with you.” You turn on your heels, walking away, back into the bunker to your bedroom and began packing up your stuff.

You knew when you started seeing him that you would be at risk, but you loved him enough that you didn’t care. However, you can’t stay in a one-sided relationship anymore. You fight back the tears as you sit down at his desk and write down everything you felt and placed it on his pillow.

 

_Dearest Dean:_

_I knew the moment we met, after you had saved my life, that I had been waiting for you my entire life. I love you. I was completely ready to set up roots with you, marry you, and give you children, but I realize now that you don’t love me in the same manner, and I know I need to move on. I hope that you can finally get what your hunting for (be that the ultimate monster, peace, or a family)._

 

_I will always love you._

_Y/N_

 

Grabbing your bags, you pack up everything you had and headed back down to the garage shoving your bags into the back seat of your car. He still sat on that damn cooler drinking.

“So, I guess this is it Dean.”

“I guess.” He said in his nonchalant manner edged in self loathing.

“Please don’t get up. You just may feel something.”

He looked at you and you could see in those eyes that he hated himself for putting you in this position. “Tell Sam when he gets back goodbye.”

“Whatever.”

You get in your car, look over at him one more time. Your emotions begin to betray you and you begin to cry. You start it up and pulled out the garage.

——————————————————————

Sam pulled into the bunker garage to see Dean was sitting at near his car on a cooler nursing his tenth beer and your car is missing.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Gone.”

“Like a supply run.”

“No Sam. Like gone back home.”

“Did you guys get into it?”

“You can say that?”

“Dean. I know that hunt did you in and you feel you can’t protect me and her, especially her. I also know you’ve been sitting on that engagement ring that you picked up at the jewelry store we were casing during the last hunt. I know you were going to ask her to marry you when you got back. Did you just decide you don’t love her?”

“No,” Dean said angrily.

“Well, I love Y/N like a sister. She’d be a perfect addition here.”

“Well, we’re done and she’s gone.” Dean took another swig of beer.

“Dammit Dean. Go to her. You both will not be OK until you are with each other.”

“Fuck off Sammy.”

Sam walked into the bunker pulling out his phone calling you.

You weren’t even two hours from the bunker, when your phone start ringing. It was Sam. You knew if you didn’t answer it, he would keep ringing until you did. You answered the phone from your steering wheel. “Hello.”

“Y/N, you left?”

“Yes Sam. I left.”

“Why don’t you turn back around and head back. We can all talk about it.”

“I’m over it Sam. I tried to give Dean the benefit of a doubt. I tried getting him to talk. He is just being an asshole. And I don’t even want to talk about the last time he touched me. Two weeks Sam. He rather drunk his life away than touch his own girlfriend. I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear that.”

“Y/N. You know I care about you as I know Dean does. He’s still having trouble with feeling like he can’t protect you.”

“It’s been six months, Sam, since I moved in. It’s been nine months since Dean and I hooked up for the first time. Dean should know I would stick with him until my dying breath, but I’m really starting to think he can’t get over it and ‘his funk’ because he really doesn’t want to and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I deserve love and I deserve someone who wants to love me. As much as I love Dean, he can’t give me what I need, so I need a clean break now before we go a year, two years, Five years, or ten years and I have invested too much time in a one sided relationship.”

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice was emphatic and pleading.

“I need to focus on the road Sam. Goodbye.”

You hung up on the phone and tried to see out your tear soaked eyes.

You arrived back at your house that evening, surprised you even made it home alive; you had spent so much time crying on your drive home that you were legitimately concerned you were going to crash. You looked around your house. Things felt so weird. Your house, that used to be a comfort to you, now just reminds you how alone you were before him and how alone you’ll be now.

You throw in some bedding in the washer and then crash on your sofa waiting until it was done. You’re exhausted, and as you sit there, the emotional toll gets to you and you begin to cry again, and can’t stop. _I can’t believe that he just let me leave like that. How could he have even loved me just letting me go like that?_ Your heart breaks, until you finally cry yourself to sleep.

——————————————————————-

The next few weeks were exhausting. You woke up, ate, slept, and hung around your house. The silence was deadly. You remembered that even when the bunker was quiet, you had Dean to take your mind off things, Sam to talk to, and unless they were gone in which you had books to read, and movies to watch. You had a life at that bunker.

You called your family and friends to tell them you were back, but never went out because you couldn’t bring yourself to meet anyone new. Dean was your reason for existence. Even at his worst, you wanted him every moment of the day. You thought about heading back, but neither of you had picked up the phone to call each other.

It wasn’t until three weeks in that you realized you had a problem. You first thought your exhaustion was due to depression, but when you started getting nauseous all the time, you knew something was wrong. You thought you had the flu until the doctor turned to you. “You’re six weeks pregnant.”

“Come again?” That’s exactly what Dean would have said. You were dumbfounded.

“You’re pregnant. Six weeks.”

You walked out of the doctor’s appointment in a complete daze. You drove home and sat at your couch. You could pinpoint the night you got pregnant: the night before the hunt that changed it all. Dean was telling you he had to leave and you let him fuck you on the map table after Sam went to bed. Clothes strewn around the floor as Dean lifted you in his arms as he guided you over his cock and you took him in. He held you in the middle of the room as he thrusted into you, your voices were loud with moans and expletives spewing from your mouths. You undulated your hips against him and he suckled your breasts as you rode his cock hard until he filled you up with his seed. That was just the beginning. He then made love to you on top of the map table. He linked his hand with yours as he thrusted into you, whispering sweet nothings and “I love yous” in your ear until he filled you again. He collapsed on you after the fifth time. “I love you Y/N. Maybe this will be the start of our family,” he said as he laid next to you, wrapped around you. “I love you so much Dean. I would love to carry your babies,” you said as kissed you passionately and then fell asleep.

Sam found you two tangled up together naked the next morning. You remembered how Dean smelled and tasted and the fact that you spent those five times without a condom, each wanting you to become pregnant.

Like the universe was trying to bring you back together, your phone rang. Sam was on the other end. “For some reason, I knew I needed to call you and see how you were.”

“Hey Sam. I’m OK. How are you?” You rubbed your abdomen absently.

“I’m good. Just came back from a hunt last night.”

“Everyone else good?”

“Jody and Donna said ‘hi’, but I imagine that’s not who you are asking about.”

“Sam?”

“He’s a mess without you.”

“If he’s such a mess, why I haven’t heard from him?”

“Because he’s stubborn, just like you.” His tone went serious. “Can’t you just come back?”

You gasped for air. You wanted to come back, especially now, knowing Dean will be a father. You had started talking about a family, so that night without protection was the beginning; however, this was Sam talking, not Dean. “I can’t Sam. He doesn’t want me back and I’ve got too much going on right now.”

Just then, your friend entered your house. “So, did you find out why you have been feeling like crap?”

You think you put your hand over the microphone. “I’ll tell you in a moment Jane.”

Your friend started rummaging through your stuff looking for something to read while you were in the phone.

“Sam. I need to let you go.”

“Y\N?”

“Y\N.” You hear Jane before you had time to cover the microphone. “You’re pregnant? And it’s that dashing FBI agent’s kid you were staying for six months.” She was holding up the prenatal vitamins and the pregnancy test that you peed on that said ‘pregnant.’

You glared at Jane. “Jane.” The phone went quiet. It took about fifteen seconds and Sam spoke. “Y/N. You’re pregnant? Does Dean know?”

“No Sam and he’s not going to know as I’m not going to tell him. We’re done.”

“You need to tell him.”

“No. I need to go Sam.”

Sam responded. “I’m going to tell him. He needs to know.”

“Please no Sam.”

“Dean told me what happened on the hunt. He knew you guys had no protection that night. He knew this was a possibility. He said you both wanted it.”

“We may have wanted it that night best things obviously changed after that hunt, and he’s made it perfectly clear how he feels now.” You fight back the tears.

“Did he… really?” Sam responded.

“What do you mean Sam?”

“I mean did he say he didn’t want you.”

“He said he was a monster and I’m stupid for wanting to be with him.”

“He did?” Sam was mortified.

“Yes. I’d never lie about Dean.”

“I’ve got to go Sam. Bye.” You hang up and stare over at Jane as she heard what was said.

“Why don’t you go talk to Dean?” Jane asked.

“I can’t Jane.” Your tears fall down your face. “He doesn’t want me.”

“But you’re carrying his child. He deserves to know.”

“He will just take me back because he’s loyal. We’ll just end up in a loveless marriage. I want to be loved.”

“You both both love each other. It won’t be loveless. Even I could tell when you spoke about him that you loved him more than life itself and the one time I met him with you when he came to town for the weekend, I could tell he loved you. Hell, you guys almost fucked at my dinner party.”

You laughed. “We didn’t almost. We did. We had a quickie in the bathroom before dinner. I left the table first and you thought he was talking to your husband, but he followed me to the bathroom, ate me out on the bathroom counter and then bent me over the counter and fucked me hard. I’m surprised you didn’t see all the hickies he left on my neck.”

“Wow,” Jane said shocked. “Is that why you went to my room and borrowed my scarf?”

“Yeah. He can get a little bitey when we go at it hard.”

Jane shook her head. “See, you guys have so much passion. He will be so happy to be with you and a baby.”

You look down staring at the table. “We’re different now.”

Dean walked into the map room heading towards the kitchen grabbing another beer and headed back towards his room.

“I talked to Y/N.”

Dean turns. “Cool. Good for you.”

“You need to go back to her.”

“Why? She hasn’t come back to me. Why do I have to come back to her?”

“I think you need to see her.”

“I don’t think so Sam.”

“Dude. She’s pregnant with your kid.”

Dean jerked his head and stared at Sam. “What?”

“You heard me. I overheard her friend ask her and she confirmed. She’s having your baby.”

Dean sat down and stared at the table. “She’s pregnant?”

“Yes. And you need to go see her.”

Dean just stared at the table. “The night before the hunt. I was going to propose to her that night, but decided to wait until after the hunt because I didn’t have a ring. Then with all the shit that went down with the hunt I felt I couldn’t protect her, and now she’s carrying my kid. Shit!” He threw his bottle of beer at the wall “FUCK!” He screamed so loud even Sam shook at the sound. “I never wanted to leave her.”

“You can go back to her.” Sam looked at Dean pleading.

Dean stares at the table more. “She’d probably slam the door in my face.”

“She may. She may not. You won’t know if you don’t try.”

——————————————————————-

You awake the next morning and look around your house. It doesn’t feel the same as the bunker. You miss the kitchen where Dean cooked all the great meals; the gym where you sparred with Dean and Sam and learned to fight; the firing range where you learned to shoot a gun, even though you hated weapons; and Dean’s bedroom where you spent your nights tangled up in him making love all night or curled up in his arms.

You rub your abdomen. “I love you baby.”

You heard a knock at your door, so you get up to answer it. As soon as I open you open it, your mouth gapes open because Dean is standing outside your door.

“Dean. What are you doing here?” You feel like the wind had been knocked out of you. Your breath hitches.

“Y/N. I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me about the baby.”

“Sam,” You mutter.

“Yes! Sam told me.” Dean looked at you angrily. “Y/N. You’re carrying my child. I have a right to know.”

“You had a right to know until you told me I was stupid. Now you’re just a sperm donor.” You were angry too.

“Do you really mean that?” Dean looked at you hurt. You can see the hurt in his emerald green eyes.

“Dean…”

“Y/N. Before I left for that last hunt, you know I was ready to give you a baby. I had every intention to marry you. I realized after you left, that I am an asshole, but I’m just too proud to admit that, until now.”

He came in the house and walked into your dining room. “Y/N. I came back to get you and bring you and our baby back. And that means, I need to make you an honest woman and me an honest man.” He got down on one knee and pulls out a box with an engagement ring. “Y/N will you come back and marry me and make me the happiest man in the bunker.”

You always wanted Dean and him asking you to marry him was what you always wanted to hear. Your eyes started watering. “Are you sure Dean? I mean you don’t have to ask me to marry you just because I’m carrying your baby.”

“That’s not why I’m asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to marry me because I love you. I want to be with you. That last night in the bunker before the hunt and we made love all night without protection, I wanted a baby with you. I wanted to give you all my sperm. I wanted to ask you to marry me then, but I decided to wait. Then I lost the most people in a hunt I have ever lost and the monster got away. I was a huge loss for me and I felt so ill equipped to protect you.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” You were on the verge of tears. All this time with Dean and all you ever wanted was for to him to talk to you and now he is.

“Because I thought I had to be macho and not show you emotion.”

“But Dean. The times you show me emotion makes you more man than not. Telling me you’re scared or nervous makes me just love you more.”

“I’m scared to death of marriage, a baby, and being with you because of my need to protect you both.”

“What happens will happen Dean. We can’t know that. We can only know what is in our hearts, and I love you and you love me.”

Dean smiles. “So, is that a yes?”

You look down at his beautiful boyish face and smile. “Yes Dean. Yes. I will marry you.”

He pulls the ring out of the box and places it on your finger. He stands up putting his hands to your face and kisses you passionately.

Picking you up, bridal style, and carries you up the stairs to your bedroom. He lays you on the bed, smiles and crawls in hovering over you. “I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull his mouth to yours.

You pull off his plaid shirt, peeling off his T-shirt, digging your arms into his biceps.

He slips his calloused hands up your shirt as he digs into your flesh. “I miss you so much.” Your shirt gets pulled off with your bra quickly following, and before you know it, his lips are attacking your nipples, making them hard and your panties are soaked. Your body is arching to his.

He kisses down your torso grabbing your pants and pulling them down quickly, then your panties are ripped at their seams and he’s sucking on your clit so hard that you came before he even could pump a finger into you. His tongue begins fucking your entrance as your crying out in complete ecstasy.

“God. I miss your taste to much.” You hear him say that and he moans while pleasuring you.

He makes you come three more times before he removes his mouth from your clit.

He moves up your body and kisses you. You work at removing his jeans quickly, pulling them down along with his boxer briefs. “Fill me Dean and fuck me hard.”

He smiles leaning in and pushing himself all the way into you. “Are you OK? We’re not going to hurt the baby, are we?”

“No Dean. Now move and make me scream your name some more.”

He does what he was told as you spend the rest of the day and night tangled up in each other’s arms.

—————————————————————

You’re sitting on a couch back at the bunker with your feet up on Dean’s lap as he tenderly rubs them.

“Oh man that feels good,” you say.

“I’m glad to hear that Baby.”

You’re Nine and a half months pregnant and feel like you’re about to pop, but your baby doesn’t seem to feel like he or she wants out anytime soon. You stare down at your engagement ring on your too swollen finger and look over at the beautiful man rubbing your feet. You smile and Dean notices.

“What’s you thinking about Baby?”

“Just thinking of how lucky I am.” You smile. “Except for getting this baby to come out.”

“I know I have a hard time leaving from inside you. Maybe he does too.”

“Eww!”

“I just mean that… yeah. OK. I’m sorry Baby. That was weird.”

“Yes Dean. It was.” You then laugh.

“You know I heard sex is known to help speed up labor.” Dean gives you his signature smirk as he begins rubbing up your leg tenderly.

“Oh. You did?” You smile. “You really want to fuck me? I feel like a beached whale.”

“You know I always want to fuck you Baby.”

“Really Dean?” You smile.

He puts your feet down and he leans towards you, moving his hand between your legs.

It was just what you needed as two hours later you were in labor and at the hospital. You had a beautiful baby boy that you both named Robert Dean Winchester. You married a month later in a small ceremony at Lebanon City Hall surrounded by Sam, Cas, and Mary, friends Jody, Donna, and Garth. You subsequently had twins, Samuel John and Cassandra Ellen a year later. Thank Chuck for blessed second chances.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> If you enjoy what you read, leave a comment.  
> Constructive Critcism appreciated and accepted. Thanks for taking out the time to read and respond.
> 
> Please do not copy, repost or disseminate in any program, website, or forum without expressed written consent of the author.


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